CIDER HOES! NINE FOR FUCKING!

Fucking RWAR! you bander fucks, for those who dunno its ChuckTheLandslides mother fuckin Birthday, so heres to him having a truly epic day.

I on the other hand have been quite busy here on fuck mountain. For starters, I felt I needed to give Iori the finger, so I marched down and pissed one on his NEW Caddy. Busting from the door like a lunatic on crack smacking a grandchild, he finally decides to fight me.
"Thats it, THAT'S FUCKING IT! I'VE HAD IT!" he whined
In an epic growl n snarl I dove at him, dropping my elbow into his face, he slammed through the earth and was in the newly created crater I just made, Krit crawled out from it. "How, how did fuck did I get here?" she said as she wandered away from the fight. Iori rose from the crater with a purple fireball in his hand.
I call him a faggot and he gets all pissy and throws a dog at me. I headbutt it, turning it into a puppy. He throws a baseball bat, I catch it and send it back at him as an elephant. Dodging that array of bullshit we are suddenly playing checkers and I lost, I flip the board and tackle him, rolling down the hill we destroy a village and land in an airplane. From there we jump out and fight while parachuting toward the ground, a storm faggotly rolled in, I tell it to fuck off, it cuts itself and runs away sobbing.

Upon landing atop a millitary base we accidentally launch a rocket, and fight on it. I farted and the rocket explodes. And Iori had meter, fully standing. I sucked on wake up, when out of the blue an oompa looma assist. Ami came out to say
"I found your wallet, it was in this parrot." but not understanding her forgien language I tell her to shut up and make me a sandwich. She snaps with "No, fuck you." and wanders away. Iori goes to throw his gay super judge uber-charged purple fireball but as it leaves his hand and contacts the ground, Krit appears. "What the fuck!? HOW!?" she looks at me "YOU!" as she begins to roll up her sleeves, getting out her KKKatana. Iori begins to laugh but I take his voice away and give it to a hippo. Krit begins chase but I throw a hole on the floor, she falls in. I pick up the hole, fold it up. And put it in my pocket.

I then go back to my throne to reflect on the day...WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT SAMMICH!? AMI! And no, I still havn't let Krit out of the portable hole yet...

-Rek OuTz
(Pocket Krit, lol)

Krackin Moses!

Hey shitfucks, I decided to spew a entry in this bitch.

Recently, winning a auction(I took the fucker)for the Back to the future car. I got in to find out it was missing the flux compass...whatever the fuck! The Flux thing! Enraged I took a sack of kittens and beat the douche I bought it from.

From the echos of stompings and shriekings, Ami informed me that it never has a fluxajigawhut. So I slapped her with a ceiling fan. Chuck, Krit, and the Judge also were at the stealathon. Chuck raced toward me, the camera panned back to my face, then showed the same clip of Chuck running at the same distance...this went on for several minutes before Krit kicked me in the balls. As I fell over she smiled,
"Hi Rek, what are doing here? You know you can afford shi-" but she was cut off but a cackling. It was Bizzaro Rekano,
"AH HA! you douchebags! I will now free Pyramid Head from his prison cell!" but The Judge issued an banning withen an instant of the idea, however the deed was already done and Pyramid head began wrecking havoc on my shit. Seeing this as no time to fuck Ami, I teamed up with Landslide and was prepared to give this fuck a vigious fisting! Krit went katana and sliced up Iori's buick. for no damn reason as she LAWL'd with each slice n swipe.
"MY FUCKING CAR! WHAT THE HELL!? I HAVN'T EVEN BEEN IN THIS SEASON YET!" a scream was heard as Kabal came out of White Castle on his break, saw the massive giant Pyramid head ceature and went back inside as if he had seen nothing.

Satan who had been eating at the same White Castle saw this as a way to win his checkers game with Jesus, but he still had 50 more sliders...so he ignored the bullshit outside..."King me."

Meanwhile, Chuck handed me a Vault "Yo, active reload that shit." and I did, which killed the seven dwarfs, which made Krit sad. Reliving a rush of pure epicness, I slapped the Pryamid head with a massive Hadouken...which I was stopped by Capcom due to copyright laws...fuck. Chuck, got a call and boarded the Landslidian and drove away. Krit was too busy watching TV to notice wtf had gone on.

Pissed to high hell, I grabbed my Back to the Future jammed Bizzaro Rekano and Pyramid head in it, along with Iori's buick and a order of fries plus a midget from the mall. I active reloaded the car and my right fist, I reared back. and yelled,
"ITS TIME FOR A FISTING!" Ami then closed her legs and screamed "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" and upon impact the car disappeared...

The judge came from the restroom as a poodle exploded, "You done yet?" Krit happily said "yes" and followed him away. Chuck pulled a blues brothers and parked the car while hitting a old man. "Yo, Guilty Gear?" and with that, I tied Ami to the car and we head to Philly.

(meanwhile)
Bizzaro Rekano, Iori's buick, and Pyramid head were stuck in a alternate sub space...so, while there they decided to play Go Fish, which was found in Iori's car.

-Rek OuTz!
(FUCK DA BENZ!)

The Judge, rather than help...he grabbed a newspaper

NUMBERS STICKY FUN!

Hey maggot bitches, I figured I'd update this mother fucker cause to my cock, it seemed like the best course of action. Day started off Chuck and I playing Guilty Gear, when suddenly a monster truck busted right through the wall and rev'd its engine...Chuck and I look at it, look at each other, and then go back to Guilty Gear. The monster truck, ignored the rest of that time. Cried and drove away. Emo Truck.

As my session came to a close, Iori came a knockin at my door, I open it and scream as loud as possible "NEVER-FUCKING-MORE!!!" before slamming it with such a force, Ami appeared.

I decided to visit Krit, so I kick down the same door and ride it to a train station, to an airport, which then I had to walk to a mule store, when lead me to a midget, who exploded upon setting eyes on me, homo lil bitch.

Finally, Ami and I are in Krit's house, she walks into the living room where we are sitting, playing marbles for whatever reason..."How did you guys even get in here?" I gave Krit a hug, so Ami. Jealous, kicked me in the balls...Krit who thought that looked fun, joined in. Iori walked in and kicked me in the ass, which then Ami and Krit turned on him cause he owe'd them both 5 dollars and started kicking the shit outta him. Using Okizeme, I recover off the floor, suddenly random people started coming out of rooms in Krit's house...she stopped, "WHAT THE HELL REK!?" she said to me, "HOW COME ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE IN MY HOUSE! GET OUT!" but no one heard her. "Oh that's it." she said, leaving the house...suddenly, the roof was removed off the house and Krit grew to 80 ft again, reaching in her home and picking everyone up...then, leaving us in a random small tree, outside her house which for some reason we couldn't get down from as she shrunk to normal size walking back to her house. I then ask Jesus to pass me the Doritos as a small child got mauled by a bear...in the very same tree.

We might be in this tree for a while...
-Rek OuTz
(I DUN NEED TOOTHPASTE!)

Gwam had NOTHING on meh CHEDDA!

Well guys, I am in Tekken 6, under the alias Bob, A NEW CHARACTER confirmed for Tekken 6.
I dyed my hair blonde(even with teh goodies) and went for a shoot. Here are pics.

http://www.kobayan.jp/images/arcadia/arcadia0710-09l.jpg
Scan from an Arcadia Mag, some Asian magazine.

http://www.tekken-official.jp/tk6ac/characters/bob.html
Official Tekken Website, showcasing my AWESOMENESS! (even as a Blonde)

http://www.tekken-official.jp/tk6ac/screenshot02.html
Pics on the above site, ME IN GLORIOUS ACTION!

Had to gain weight to do it too, Ami tried to get in, but was rejected due to constantly getting me food for the part.

EPIC WIN!

-REK OUTZ!
(Now, to talk to Namco-Bandai about adding a playable penguin character...hmmm.)

2 IN THE HAND = 87 OUT THE VAGINA!

Never have I ever been so pissed off at Ami!

First shit decided that the "leather couch" wasn't worth having, now I could have listened to more but that was the 1st strike + my lvl 2 pissed, it = 3...FUCK YO MATH!

So I did what I usually do in great times of confusion...I bothered Landslide. Going over to his place we sat and played Guilty Gear for hours on end, talking about god only knows when BAM! I get hit by a massive brick.
"Not on my watch, you sonofachurch!" Landslide screamed as I jumped out the window he took the stairs to the randomly placed parking lot. We met Frank, the Asshole.

Ami randomly joined up she said something in plain English although I couldn't understand it. "Rek why aren't you at home?" I responded to her by smacking her with a bear claw, then shoved it in her mouth and patted her on the head. Krit walked by and noticed our current enemy, "Is that a walking trout!?" she exclaimed as Ami told her something in female speak Chuck nor I could figure out wtf they were talkin.

Chuck began a beastly drum solo on Frank when suddenly a Torque Bow arrows hits him first "Oh goddamn it!" Chuck exclaimed as Bizzaro Gopher laughed at the injury he has inflicted. I quickly reacted by Power Kneeing BG...but it clashed with his P and left me at -56 and I got comboed. Krit and Ami tried to hit him with daggers but they did nothing and he knocked them on their asses with a Power Wave. Iori, Kabal, and Jesus randomly stopped driving the ChristMobile. We all hopped in it and bailed, we put Daigo on the back of the car and drove from the area, he parried best he could and it was just enough to get away with a jar of M&Ms.

Ami then pulled me away from the pepsi machine and exclaimed "Did you hear a fucking word I said!?"...with that, I carried her out of the store, against her will...Oh and Frank?

...WHO THE FUCK IS FRANK!?!?
-Rek OuTz
(DIAPER SAUCE! NO!? FUCK IT!)

DOMINO X COLASTER RALLY!

EPIC!

Thats the name of the douchebagable asshats that have unleashed a demonic curse on my soul, Ami and I looked forward to the game "Gears of War" on that fucking Xbox. We get it, first day. The following are the tales and misadventures of Rekano and GoW...

Teh Begining:
After getting XBox Live back, I turned off Ami's soaps and destroyed a midget as I turned it on. Krit, The Judge, Chuck, and several others introduced me to the basics, which I totally ignored. I was added to battle in an epic tournament but it was homo. so I gave the spot to Elton John, who lost them the tourney. However, it caused a split. many went their own ways...I stayed with Boss, Krit, and Gopher(The Judge) and continued the fight, dispite the fact they hated me. Krit said it wasn't true but Boss and Gopher's evil red eyes caused nipples to explode out of fear. Ami didn't approve of exploding nipples so we opted for exploding pigs.

teh Battle among allies:
Since we failed, much. We started battling each other, most of it consisting of laggy chainsaws, penis, back to the future styled shotguns, and pistols with ass fucking power. Chuck wanted no part of it so we didn't bother, I was replaced by a 3 year old, and the most epic moment...
Krit and I were the last ones alive, 1v1. and we started an EPIC pistol fight...after ass raping each other down...we quickly used our asian finger abilities(thank you Ami) and got up...at the same time and since we like ass raping, we did the same thing again...then we get up...she attempts to rape to the right but is shut down cause I host away and score a random headshot. This was the begining of the war....

shit:
Over time I changed, I was no longer the badass King I was a EMOY lil bitch, and Ami took advantage by running up my credit cards. Eventually we all quit...but my battle lasted longer than it should have...I took it to gamestop.

Gamestop...shit:
The man behind the counter did not want it back, saying that the curse was mine forever...Ami punches me in the balls and it all comes back to me (as well as my lunch) I jump behind the counter and force it down his windpipe while playing golf with bill clinton and watching Spider-Man 3. I emerge from the emergance hole and throw a frag into the gamestop...all while reving my Lancer in the sunset...Yeah I took the weapons, as well as the ability to active reload....ANYTHING!...Ami was the first thing I tested it on...with Iori screaming results.

Krit says I did the right thing as did Chuck who said "Play Halo, asshole!" and I did, proudly.

-Rek OuTz
(ACTIVE RELOAD YOUR MOM!)

My Snickers, your comic strippers!

Evening assjackets, Well things have been chaotic here on Fuck Mountain. Ami and I have recently been battling my nemesis Bizzaro Rekano. Costing me Guilty Gear matches with Landslide, I promptly returned to my golden toilet throne and began flushing the bullshit in my house.

I keyed Iori's car as he then went on a rage and did started some badass combo, I active reloaded Bizzaro Rekano in my place and Iori beat the fuck out of him. While that was happen'n I fucked Ami while playing piano, which she thought was the shit.

Some metal toothpick, I believe ninjas call um daggers. Had a note attached to it, I rip it off...it read:
"Dear Rekano, please pick up the following from the store for me and Gopher:"
I stopped there, cause I knew it was important and behind me I see...some guy, he looked like the judge but sucked in many ways.

"FUCK ARE YOU!?" I yelled and spat into his face
"You idiot, thats Bizzaro Gopher...Corsair" said the hunk of junk on the floor
"I dunno what the fuck that thing said, but you broke Fuck Mountains number 1 rule! NO MUTHA FUCKAS!" I yelled at him
"Such a long winded behemoth you are, fucking choad." said the douchebag

Not wasting any time, I attempt to active reload a golden nunchaku drum solo on him, but his bullshit cannon was too much and caused me to jam. I threw Bizzaro Rekano at him, who he caught in one hand, then swooped down and took Ami. That's a no-no, and while I went to piledrive him he turned into a black cloud, then caused me to gag til I passed out.

I woke up with Jesus, Satan, and Death around me. Appearently I was ressurected, AGAIN! It was up to me to stop this Corsair assjacket...I knew fucking well I needed help, although I am the King Of Fuck Mountain...the fate of my mortal enemy and fuck toy are at stake. So, Wielding my active reloaded Chainsaw, I rode my trusty Thunderhorse down from Fuck Mountain, toward the North Eastern Fuck Yard...towards Philly. Landslide would be there or a cannonmaster would be questioned.

-Rek OuTz
(DON'T WORRY, YOUR A SHIT PIECE!)